I Am Minority...

Sometimes I seriously worry about the minds of Japanese junior high school students. Here's some gems from some recent letters to me:
"I pley fishing. Do you pley fishing? Do you pley horizontal bar?" (is he talking about gymnastics here or a more abstract concept?!)
"I have a briefs but I don't like briefs. I don't like bullbog." (me neither mate)
and may favorite...
"kyatherin, after a long time.
I'm Kanzaki
You are beauty (thanks!)
I like meat
You are english teacher
You are rich man
I like meat.
Oh, my meat (?!)
This is paper
I like J
I'm minority."
Sheer poetic genius.