Don't Try This At Home Kids...

Today in class I have to do a diary presentation about my weekend. Unfortunately for the students, its a severe watering down of the truth.
Saturday
-(presentation) In the morning I went to the supermarket. I bought many things.
(Truth: after vegetating under my duvet until 1 in the afternoon listening to the clash loud enough to really tick my neighbours off i wobbled on my bike to the poor excuse for a supermarket still a bit pissed from the night before shannanagans. There I bought enough alcohol to get George Best fearing for his new liver, a few ice lollies and some dangerous looking snacks laden with chemicals for later.)
-In the afternoon I talked with my friends.
(After my friends faffed around we played complicated drinking games, watched obnoxious american comedy and took the piss out of each others sunburn)
-At night I went to a party.
(At gotcha I did my best to avoid my co-workers, drank various nasty mixes of alcohol, danced like a lunatic and instigated a limbo competition that probably caused several people to have lasting back problems)
-Then I went to karaoke. I sang many songs.
(We smuggled alcohol into the karaoke rooms rather than pay the extortionate prices they charge and I hogged the mike doing ear splitting "versions" of Kate Bush, Ash, Evenessence and Disney songs complete with improvised dance "interpretation." So entertaining paul slept through the whole thing.)
-It was an interesting day.
(It was a fun day. I accomplished nothing other than the legacy of a hangover only stuffing my face with greasy barbaqued meet could cure on Sunday.)