Try hards, Beiges,J-wannabes and Trendys:A JET Demographic

Last weekend I went to Osaka for a great weekend before spending 3 days at the re-contractors conference for JETs in Kobe. I could give a quippy run down of the highs and the lows and the tos and the fros of the last few days but balls to that...I'd rather indulge in a bit of character assassination instead.
1000ish JETs in one place equals a hell of a good time. Because these people have managed to get the job in the first place its pretty much given that they’re mildly friendly and interesting. However this can be a huge pain in the arse as well as a guaranteed fun fest. It was during an extremely dull and useless lecture that I decided there are basically four types of JET.
1. the try hard. Much akin to a aerobics instructor, these happy chappys are super genki. To the point where you’d like to sedate them.
Likely to say: “Hi!!!!!!!!! What’s your name and where are you from??????”
Not likely to say: “sorry I can’t be arsed talking to you."
Probably: American
Distinguishing features; full beam smile so bright you’re practically blinded.
2.the beige. Perfectly nice, perfectly pleasant...that’s it. Humour? Are you in there?!
Likely to say: “I don’t mind.”
Not likely to say: “Wouldn’t half shag that”
Probably: a mormon
Distinguishing features: eerily clam expression, slacks and trainers fashion crime.
3. the j-wannabe. Think you can speak Japanese ok after 10 months? Well this person would love to correct you; they have lots of Japanese friends you know and end all their sentences with yo or ne just to prove how clued up they really are. Patronising gits.
Likely to say; “Gaijins are so uncivilised…”
Not likely to say: “Cant wait to go back home/I was a virgin until I seduced some poor J-girl.”
Probably: Didn’t fit in in their own country
Distinguishing features: kanji tshirt, bad facial hair.
4. the trendy. These types are too cool for school-que funky accessories and party antics. Wanna be in their gang? You may not be a cool enough. Pop culture alcofrolic know it all.
Likely to say: “Do you know what film I just quoted from?”
Not likely to say: “Its ok if you don’t want to get drunk tonight.”
Probably: Not as clued up as they seem
Distinguishing features; anime/band tshirt, ipod/walkman