Tadaima (almost)

*tadaima-I'm home

Inspired by sarah-chan, stuff I'm looking forward to when I go home

1. NOT having to partake in the anticipatory hover outside the bathrom as I hope for a super jet powered botty warmer but usually find a manky hole in the tiles.
2. Real conversations with taxi drivers
Japan: "Hello, treasured customer, where may I take you if you dont mind?"
Dukinfield: "Alright luv, on the lash are we? Hope you get some."
3. Drinking a PINT in the AFTERNOON in a PUB
4. Understanding everything said around me from couples arguing in Tesco ("We're not getting those bloody bran flakes again!") to scallys talking about hand jobs on the bus, to my mum shouting at the TV ("3 friggin quid for that? I could make it for nowt!")
5. Another Roberts family xmas-my mums annual freak out ("Have nice xmas luv...I don't know when I'll be back" she said 3 years ago...she was back half an hour later to watch Coranation Street) my dads everything-is-an-excuse to get pissed ("well 75 hours till the queens speech...calls for a brandy!") and my brothers dry indifference ("I'm not wearing this piece of shit..I mean thanks gran!")
6. Seeing my mates new cars/pets/houses/haircuts...and seeing them too I spose ;)
7. Telling intertested people intertesting things about Japan like the group mentality thing and respect for public space
8. Telling unintertested people random things like the popularity of dog clothes and washing your hands in toilet water
9. Seeing people in the street and instantly being able to see what socio-demographic they fit into -Ah single unmarried mother with too many sovereigns and a weakness for white lightening! Oh look, a poncy young aspiring beckham with a Ben Sherman shirt and a girlfriend called Tanya!
10. Being only surprised by the cost of snacks to be purchased rather than a nasty bean paste or fishy filling
11. Dancing like a twit to GOOD music with a possibility of hearing stuff I don't know, but will almost certainly grow to like. Huzzah
12. Meeting random intestesting people (nutters usually) you talk to for five minutes and feel like you're already best mates. One partcularly memerable one that happnened to me last year started with a compliment about my top and ended with this mad bird showing me her clit peircing in the witchwood toilets. To be fair this happens in Japan although not to such a filthy degree and its easier back home. Plus of theyre of the opposite sex you usually get at least a snog.
13. Xmas TV from the crappy Only Fools and Hourses reruns you've seen a million times to The Smowman (sniff!) to Mary Poppins (woo!)
14. Realising how little your relatives know you when they buy you shit like a fairy glitter bath set meant for 13 year olds
15. Emotional moments on Xmas day and New Years Eve where people say meaningless sh*t like "All the best!" that really just mean "lets all get hammered!"