Funny Job

Well the time of speech contests is upon us-actually one of the few times that a ALT properly used and actually are a valuable source. The winning kids are the ones that are used to speaking English and have a lot of help from their friendly plate-eyed sensei. Its a shame that most of them have absolutely no idea what they're saying and just learn it with all the verve and energy of a (dead) parrot but, hey, fair play to them for having a go! I was actually quite emotional last week as 8 of my students competed and, in true japanese overreaction were ridiculously nervous/scared/excited/nutty. 3 out of my 8 got in the top 4 which I was well chuffed about (and means that I get another "day off" to go to the next round in Yamaguchi-woo!)
Yesterday I had the mis/fortune to judge at the Iwakuni round. Megan and I were joined by 2 high school English teachers. Upon meeting the ojisan I remember thinking he had a good head of hair for an old man-as the day wore on I kicked myself for such stupidy as he clearly was wearing a wig (read dead badger on his head) The other teacher belonged to the breed of Japanese English speakers who think that iftheytalkreallyfast they'll sound fluent. Theyjustsoundweirdne?
Highlights of the day included a girl singing the chorus of Dancing Queen in her speech, the geekiest student ever in trousers finishing somewhere around his knees (Damn these flood pants!)and a speech that will go down in history, Funny Job:
"The women was about to shout "get out of my house" but her husband put something in her mouth. It was very delicious and she forgot her anger."
Me and Megan did a bloody good job of stifling our giggles in the guise of choking at this point. It was so funny we gave her good marks even though she was pretty piss poor.
(oh and if you were wondering, the thing he put in her mouth was lemon pie)

Shananagans in Shikoku

This weekend was a right rollocking fun fest driving, swimming, onsenning and exploring around Shikoku. Sarah, Chris, Victoria and I tackled Iya Valley, The Cape and Kochi City, taking in some breathtaking scenery and generally relaxing and having a laugh! Highlights included swimming in a river around huge rocks and waterfalls in the middle of a gorge, braving a bridge made of vines (not quite Indiana Jones but made me brick it nonethless!) sampling the local specialties like fish on a stick and special soba, going to an onsen so far down the gorge you had to take a cable car, witnessing the biggest waves I've ever seen and lots of hot J-surfers, car games galore and coffee/sickness induced delarium. Lovely stuff.



I made up my mind to see as much of Japan as I could and so far I've been lucky enough to have friends to orchestrate it all for me! Sarah was a top organiser and thanks to her we didnt get lost of confused even once-and she was ill! Good skills smac. Now that I've done whistlestop tours of Kyushu and Shikoku I can safely say that they're both amazing places to visit with a far more chilled out vibe than Honshu and the best scenery. I only wish I had more time in the places we went (or glanced at!) but it was a perect long weekend all in all!

I'M A MAN! Apparantly...

You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Usagi Humiliation and other stories...

So after my winging and huffing about having to go into school on Sunday for Sports Day I actually had a great time! It was a relatively cloudy day (although I still managed to got burnt!!!) and the kids were all totally pumped and beaming at the prospect of cheering, running, and partaking in a bit of gladiator style ultra-violence. (ie those weird pole games and shoulder wrestling. How I love the disregard for safety in this country!) Even though the temptation to sit on my arse and doze off was strong i actually made myself mill around chatting and cheering with the students an even partook in the super competative parent teacher tug of war...then came the teachers event which I could have escaped doing but foolishly didn't.
The point of this game seemed to be to make the teachers look as ridiculous as possible. We had to don weird wigs/masks (from the 100yen of course)and I ended up wearing a spangly pair of rabbit ears which had all the ichi-nenseis cooing "kawaii" at me even more than usual. Anyway I had to be partners with the office scebe (perv) who has about 3 teeth and a permenant vacant grin. The game involved scrambling under a mesh net then running around a baseball bat 5 times so when we were good and dusty/nausious he had to catapult a ball from a see saw that I was somehow suppost to catch in a basket attached to my back. To say that I struggled with this is somewhat of an understatement. I could hear the commentator going "kyasarin sensei oshi!" and thinking it was was never anywhere near close! The other teams seemed to manage it in 5 or 6 goes... In the end the PE teacher took pity on me and threw it into the basket for me.
This is in front of the entire school their families. If only I was blessed with co-ordination.
Anyway that night at the enkai (which I also contemplated skipping but actually ended up getting wasted at and singing smap into the early hours at karaoke) I was totally ripped the piss out of by a lot of my co-workers and the students parents...this actually made me aware that a)they feel comfertable enough to rib me and b) that my japanese has vastly improved if I can understand when I'm being made fun of! I remember at last years event being a total wide eyed bystander and being totally lost in the japanese at the enkai...I've come a long way, baby:)

School Dayz

(sorry for the inarticulate nature of this post. I am currently nastily hung over after a particularly spirited enkai)
Thanks to everyone who came to the Gotcha party on Sat! Was a top night, the uniforms were super cute, the dancing was impressive/ridiculous and everyone seemed to be having a good time! I'm really chuffed that the quiz went well (although organiser is clearly not a role i was born to play!) And the newbies continued to impress me with their ability to drink their own body weight in booze and party hard-especially christine who's classic drunken birthday behaviour was hilarious. The classic phases of extreme intoxication (sentimentality, guilt, confusion, randomness) seemed to hit her all at once which lead up to the following exchange:
Christine:Kat! I have a pair?
Me: eh? A pair of what? Are you talking about boobs?
C:no, no a pair!
M: A Pear?
C:oh I don't know... A pair, a pair. Where are my shoes?
You're a legend CP! Although I didn't drink much cos of having to get up for sports day on Sunday I managed to indulge in some passive drinking-feeling giddy and pissed by feeding off everyone else's nondenonde antics! Neal and Nao did a great job DJing and I enjoyed my brief stint too although I feel I wasn't on top form-gomen ne!
See you all at Halloween!

This ones going in zenzen...

Let's Not

One of the titles for the upcoming English Speech Contest to be held at my school is "Let's Challenge Various Activities." If anyone knows of a better example in terribly translated nonsensical Engrish I'd love to hear it...

Been Thinking Little Thoughts...

(Inspired by Angela)Things I like:

-The new Franz song "Do you Wanna?" a gorgeusly seductive ditty about getting lucky and giving blow jobs to celebrities with their usual quirky sparadic energy.I really wanna, Mr Kapranos
-The satirical dead pan book I'm reading about depressing songs, "I Hate Myself and I Want to Die." very interesting stuff. As Hornby said, which came first-the depressing songs or the depression itself?


-Assymetrical haircuts sported by the very stylish Carlos(interpol) and Sam (the bravery)


-The way you can put your basket in a specially designed trolley in Japan.Genius.
-Walkers crisps and baked beans from home, courtesy of miss Campy :)
-Nashi, a fantabulous apple-pear hibrid.
-Having white tan lines from flip flops and my summer sonic wristband-a summer well spent.