hello chin? This is jaw...

A classic from some of my ichi-nenseis (12/13 year olds)
(in case you can't read it)
Hello?
Hello Chin? This is Jaw. What's the matter?
Give me your jaw.
No
Give me your chin.
No
Give me Inoki's chin.
OK but I don't have it.
See you

(NB- "chinchin" means penis in Japanese)

Sarah's Tanjobi

fun and frolics

I'm drained of life, glee and energy this monday thanks to a great weekend in Yanai and Hiroshima in honour of Sarah-chan's birthday. It started innocently enough with yakiniku. Aiji was in attendance, one of Keith's co-workers who we've had the pleasure of knowing since Aaron was here last year. He's one of the maddest people I know on earth, let alone in Japan. He deserves a post of his own really. But he definitely got the party started (made steph look like mother teresa ^_^) by taking a shining to Christine, inviting random strangers over to join us and the usual tomfoolery. Me, Sarah, Chris and Keith somehow managed to conserve energy for the big un in Hiroshima on Sat. "Just tickled the stamina enough to raise the enzymes to jogging pace for tomorrow" as keith put it. Unlike certian people who woke up with their head in their own toilet wondering how they got home....





Sarah almost burns her hair off thanks to the long candled cake


Next stop Hiroshima. Spent the day shopping and found myself splurging quite spectacularly. Amongst other random crap I don't need, purchased some rather caraazy shoes.

Another J fashion casualty?Don't judge me too harshly you buggers!
Anyway when we'd shopped ourselves out we went got tarted up and mistaken for Russians by our taxi driver. Not a good sign. Had a fabulous meal at the very stylish New York New York restaurant.




Swanky Whores ^_^

After this the night goes pretty blurry as I disgraced myself by getting...well shitfaced in lack of a better word! I think that option for the spirits/wine option was key to my downfall...enjoyed drinking games in lotus immensely and then I could have been probed by key shaped aliens for what I remember"...and so i drank wine and became fine/and then i fell on the floor and drank more"




New "pals"One clear memory I have is being p*ssed off in mac house that it was so crowded and thinking "balls to this" and leaving! Booty calls, dodgy dancing, solo missions, stone roses, vodka shots and phaux "rock" bars were all in there somewhere too...Hope evryone else had such an omoshiroi weekend X

Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits:	The Smiths-I Started Something I Couldn't Finish
Waking up:	Arcade Fire-Wake Up
Average day:	The Rakes-22 Grand Job
First date:	Belle and Sebastian-I'm A Cukoo
Falling in love:	Magic Numbers-Forever Lost
Love scene:	Bloc Party-This Modern Love
Fight scene:	Flaming Lips-Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Breaking up:	Jeff Buckley-Last Goodbye
Getting back together:	Razorlight-Golden Touch
Secret love:	Franz Ferdinand-Dark of the Matinea
Life's okay:	We Are Scientists-The Great Escape
Mental breakdown:	Test Icicles-Whats Your Damage?
Driving:	The Clash-Rock The Casbah
Learning a lesson:	Clor-Love and Pain
Deep thought:	Doves-There Goes The Fear
Flashback:	Radiohead-Paranoid Android
Partying:	Arctic Monkeys-I Bet That You Look Good On the Dancefloor
Happy dance:	The Coral-Dreaming Of You
Regreting:	Interpol-Obstacle 2
Long night alone:	Super Furry Animals-Hermann and Pauline
Death scene:	Libertines-Death On The Stairs
Closing credits:	Smiths-Cemetary Gates
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Things I Will Miss About Japan #1

(idea pinched from cindi)

Being able to pay for things with large notes with no disdain from the shop assistants. Ichi man (50quid) note to pay for some chewing gum? No problem! People look at you as if you have just flashed your genetalia at them if you do this in Britain.

Me by the Manics

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band::	manic street preachers
Are you male or female::	i wish i could be born a girl
Describe yourself::	the girl who wanted to be god
How do some people feel about you::	you love us
How do you feel about yourself::	i'm not working
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend::	tsunami
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend::	elvis impersonater/blackpool pier
Describe where you want to be::	small black flowers that grow in the sky
Describe what you want to be::	velocity girl
Describe how you live::	faster
Describe how you love::	slash and burn
Share a few words of wisdom:	if you tolerate this then your children will be next
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

For Angela...

This was soo fun. (L-R me,Mark from the Killers, Ben, Angela)

The Dial A Viewis back...yosh!

Harry bloody Potter

I stayed away from the mainstream universiality of Harry Potter for as long as I could, proclaiming him not a real wizard as he doesn't have a beard, heartily agreeing with Tom who sharply dubbed it all "The MacDonalds of reading."
But, christ, even Ian Brown likes it...and with the gentle encouragement of Loz (and being forced to watch it at school in class) I have now seen the first three films and am half way through the first book. *blushes* I have to admit...I like it. Its well written, colourful and enchanting. And though I stand by the view that its a shame that so many people have read it and never read any Karouac or Camus, they could have done far worse I spose. ^_^

Sidenote-When looking for a cute picture to put on this post I came across a rather disturbing internet trend called Fanslash or fanfic which is basically fans writing extended, imaginative (and often filthy) extended bits of fiction to accompany the books. Its pretty popular with bands like the libertines and Franz too and is usually written by girls, fantasising about gay couplings. Its stalkery, pure smut and brilliant. (Me and my pals lucy and sam were doing it when we were 15!haha) I was going to post a saucy and rather sinister digitalised pic of Harry and Malfoy in bed together but i resisted cos I thought it mignt traumatise certain people. ^_~

Just call me...knob try her star!

This is (another) cool site!


Anagram Site

You type in your name and they give you loadsa anagrams of it! My favs from my name:

hark by torrents
stork try hen bra
sank retry throb (oo er!)
knot try hers bra
bark try hers not

Thats Me ~_^

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 69% Existentialist 63% Postmodernist 63% Idealist 63% Modernist 50% Materialist 50% Romanticist 50% Fundamentalist 38% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

I've been told I look anywhere from 19-35...

This site is an experiment:

http://www.matchage.com/vote/

As most of us have been told we look anywhere from our own age to our Grandma's in Japan, I thought I'd put it out to the general internet public. You can upload your photo here and people will guess your age...I'm scared! Try it! (yes I'm bored at work today...)

Peep Show

Peep Show-quite simply one of the most original, inventive, interesting and hilarious TV shows out there.
A brief overview: Mark and Jeremy are some of the most realistic and familiar characters I've seen constructed. Mark is a nice, well meaning, intelligent and funny bloke that has a tendency to let people walk all over him, settle for crappy situations and not complain about them. Jeremy is the kind of selfish, childish hip and hedonisitic git I'd fall for. On the surface they seem like people you know, people you can't help but like. Underneath they're even more recognisable and disturbing which creates a uneasy yet strangely comferting sense that we're all pretty f*cked up...
The strength of the show is its first person perspective-the camera is actually postioned on the head of the main characters for the most part (makes kissing scenes very weird) and you are privy to their secret thoughts which get darker, more sleazy, selfish and embarrasingly accurate to real thought patterns as the show continues.
Mark and Jeremy's lifes are full of bad decisions, dysfunctional relationships and frustration and just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. Big style. This sounds depressing. Its not, its hilarious and strangely comferting!
Sample: Jeremy's new hippy girlfriend instigates a threesome although Jeremy ends up being left out.
Jeremy: (thinking) This is great, this is just like a porn film! Although i can't see anything...I haven't got a hard on...and I want to cry.
Sample:Mark is trying to woo a co-worker by reading her emails. He discovers she likes him and is happy but she then finds out what he's been up to.
Mark: "Oh come on you can't dismiss this because I spy on you! We could have something special...your words not mine!"
(thinking) I am in the abyss. I have bought a house in the abyss. My post is being forwarded to the ayss.

Check it out. You'll laugh through your fingers that will cover your face in horror, trust me.

Purple PAIN!

I actually thought I was getting better at karaoke and that Marco and Hana were pretty damn good...but this video proves what happens to good songs they meet nomihodai (all you can drink!)
Listen with caution...its really bad! love the bit where marco adlibs towatds the end...

Constructive Criticism...

I'm being brave here...you can do my flaws too. I can take it! No worries of you want to go under no name (just type in a number of whatever)

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=thunderkat

Define me! Define me!

What the internet does best-self indulgent time wasting.

Go on...(please)

http://www.kevan.org/johari?name=thunderkat

Stick these on your playlist and smoke em...

...Inspired by Lauren's "tell me your must see films" I thought I'd post my must listen to classic tunes that, in my humble opinion, are essential to being a functional human being...(take heed pete and delete Be*Witched from your ipod forever)...

Part 1.The Basics
1. The Smiths- How Soon Is Now?
2. The Who- My Generation
3. Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart*
4. The Pixies- Debaser
5. XTC- Senses Working Overtime
6. The Clash- Rock the Casbah
7. Radiohead- Paranoid Android
8. Oasis- Live Forever
9. The Stone Roses- I Am The Resserection
10. Nirvana- All Apologies
11. Pulp- Common People
12. Marvin Gaye-Heard It Through the Grapevine
13. Prince- Rasberry Beret
14. Flaming Lips- Buggin'
15. Roxy Music- Street Life
16. David Bowie- Changes
17. Blondie- Atomic
18. The Cure- Close To Me*
19. MJ-Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
20. Buzzcocks-Ever Fallen In Love? (With Someone you Shouldn't)*
21. Talking Heads-Once In A Lifetime
22. The Doors-People Are Strange
23. Rolling Stones- Get Off My Cloud
24. The Sparks- This Town Ain't Big Enough For the Both of Us*
25. Manic Street Preachers- Motercycle Emptiness

*-If you're going to check out a couple, check out these

Repetition

Does anyone ever think that theres not much point in learning Japanese as at work all they ever say is. "ohayo gozaimasu", "arigato gozaimasu", "Sumimasen" and "onegai shimasu." Repeatadly. Frenziedly. Manically. >>o<<

Valentines Party-A Photo Story

5.30 PM, Saturday. 3 bright young chums organise a P-A-R-T-Y. They await their punters with gleeful pensiveness.

6.00 PM. We attire ourselves with glamorous tasteful accessories of quality, taste and thematic significance. (Mostly from the 100 yen shop)



7.00PM.The honoured guests arrive. They embrace the evening with grace, wit and charm.



8.00pm. The charming idea of a message board commences. People express their love and affection for each other with mystery and pizzaz.
Highlights include
Pauline, my balls your chin
Spiller, spill on me
Gillian, you're a whore on the dancefloor, lets take it further
Steph, you say safety entry, I say I'll give you a fire exit




9pm. The festivities continue with cross cultural communication, the finest musical arrangement and sophisticated gestures. This one, I believe means "Happy Valentines Day!"



11pm. The romantic atmosphere of the evening is just too much for some people. Together, we reach the verge of rapture.

Which celeb are you?!

This is a cool site:
http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/tryFaceRecognition.php?s=1&u=g0

If you upload a picture of yourself it tells you which celebrity you most look like...
I got:

54 percent JK Rowling
51 percent Katie Holmes
45 percent Grace Kelly
43 percent Charlize Theron

Seenas the latter 3 are all hotties I can't really complain ^O^

Mark and Matt, I'm dying to know who of the two of you wins in the Elijah Wood lookalike contest...

New Skill aquisition

I can kid myself that I'm learing language, culture, social skills yadayada but i truly feel that the only true skills I've picked up since moving to Japan are as follows:

-Control of laugh reflex. When the teacher asks me questions like "Does the word come have two meanings?" or "do you like big or small?" I can control myself enough to not giggle like a giddy child and calmly reply.
-Control of gag reflex. As I almost daily have to eat food I find repulsive the art of swallowing and gagging and tasting my own daikon flavoured vomit whilst nodding and saying "mmm oishii!" comes quite naturally.

Wonder which one will render most useful in the future...~_^

Dame desu...

With this cold winter and lack of funds after xmas, the video shop can seem like your best friend (after 7eleven of course.) After watching everything reasonably good (which doesn’t take long) you may flirt with the selection of random, bewildering titles theat you’ve never heard of or are in Japanese only...I certainly have but I'm here, dear reader, to save you from some terrible atrocities.
.
DO NOT, unless you want to pollute your brain with awful awful tripe ever watch these "films"...

Rating system:
* almost watchable
** makes you sign at your wasted 200yen
*** Highly irratating
**** As good as a poke in the eye with a pointy thing
***** sperm of satan. You'd rather vomit blood through your eyeballs.

Must Love Dogs
Sappy, cliche, terrible. Not even saved by John Cusack. Makes pulling out your eyelashes seem quite enjoyable. ***
Beware of the Neighbour
I was fooled into renting this as it had Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller in it. They must have been on crack when they agreed to be in this plotless humourless rubbish. **
I'm With Lucy
Again, I was fooled by Gael Garcia Bernal (the hottest man on earth) being on the cover. But not only did he have a tiny part, the film was so frivolous and unfunny it made Bridget Jones look like Battle Potempkin. ****
Cold Mountain
Jude law's shocking attempt at a American accent is almost as bad as Nicole Kidmans costumes. ***
Full Frontal
An interesting idea that was executed so badly you'll be decide Japanse TV isnt that bad after all. **
le Divorce
Meandering. Average. *
Sideways
Catching an STD seems preferable ***
Catwoman
Just say nooooooo! Just when you think it cant get any worse, she said "purrrfect" 2 hours of my life I'm never getting back. *****

What Japanese Creepy Crawly Are You??!

You're a HANMYOU (tiger beetle)! You have a

colorful personality and colorful clothes to

match. You have surprising athletic bility

for your size and aren't afraid to flaunt it.

You have a good social life but sometimes can

be a bit snobby or too much of a tease.


What Japanese Bug are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well...seems pretty accurate apart from the athlete part! Great Quiz Bug Brothers (and Cindi)!

Yea!

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

***Party****

Calling all Yamaguchians! Next Saturday night dawns a fantabulous Valentines Day party at Gotcha you would be an absolutely imbecilic fool not to attend. Not only can we offer the usual lethal cocktails, glorious cuisine and Euphoric Atmosphere of Gotcha but seenas the party is organised by myself, Keith and Lee you're guarenteed dodgy dancing, cheesy tunes, silly party games and tomfoolery. Who will be there you may ask...who won't be there I gap in dismay. Not only have I taken the liberty of inviting everyone I know but we plan to terrorize the youth of Yanai next weekend by accostoming them with flyers at a festival. Wear black, pink and white and just think how cool the photos will look. Play it cool with amber at the beginning and then dissintergrate into a drunken pool of yourself and stick a green glow stick round your head later. I bet you'll all look good on the dancefloor. It's gonna be a good un, kids. (starts at 6 ~_^)

Smash Hits...The End!

When I was about 13 my favourite magazine was Smash Hits. I recall buying it every wednesday for about 80p. ( i also used to like a mag called Big! anyone remember that?) It was fab, you used to get free stickers, a song lyric pull out section and actually good bands like the Smiths and The Manics covered alongside your Whams and Take Thats. It was writted in a brilliant irreverent, silly way with "the busuit tin" interviews where stars had to choose questions from (you guessed it) a biscuit tin. Stuff like "do you ever fart in the bath?" They called Cliff Richard "Sir Cliff of Richard" and the crap one from Bros "ken", one feature naming every bands most rubbish member (take thats "ken" was Gary haha)
Its a real shame that its finishing although it has dissintergrated into a McFly loving teeny shiny sham in the last few years. Probably beacuse music has become quite cliquey-not many people enjoy Girls Aloud and The Cocteau nowadays. You pick your corner and you stick to it. Bring back good pop magazines!!